Proto: The intellectual Pachi!
by Lux-9
Summary: Venture through the "struggles" of how a highly intelligent Pachirisu stands out between his colony of "air headed Pachis" - A list of funny, sweet, and funny- wait, I said that didn't I? o.o - one shots! Very cute!
1. Yummy Perfume!

**A/N:** Haihaihai! ^o^ I am starting to write this crack fic as a dedication to my FerrisWheelonShrooms readers! ^O^ I love you all!

This'll starr my wuvvly-wuddly-buddly Pachirisu called: Proto!

[**Proto:** Dx Don't call me that!]

Anyway, I do hope you stick your asses here as much as you did in FerrisWheelonShrooms ^o^

Now, as promised, this story manifested, Hoo-rah!

**R E A D !~** X"3

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span> Ken Sugimori's the man! Dx Go Nintendo, go! ^o^

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><p><strong>Yummy Perfume!<strong>

Settling the now plankton-sized chalk on the desk, Proto let out s giddy sigh and jumped on his desk; "and THAT'S how its done!"

He pointed his swirly white and baby blue fluffy tail at the board with the oh-so-complicated-looking Math equation(that Lux-9 would vomit upon putting in words).

His students consisted of Pachirisus of his like- only more "air headed"

They blinked; "..."

"Pachi?" A Pachirisu tilted its head to the side in confusion.

Proto blinked; "What do you mean Ouran Berry? This is the answer to the square root of-"

"Pachi Pachi!" Another giddy(and hungry) Pachirisu piped in- interrupting Proto.

[**Translation:** "I want!"]

Proto's fluffy round jaw dropped.

A Pachirisu jumped over its student desk; "Pachi chi risu!"

[**Translation:** "The Professor smells of Ouran Berries!"]

Proto's beady eyes shot wide as dinner plates behind his large framed glasses; "WHAAAAT? N-No...its this new perfume that I-"

But he was tackled by a herd of fluffy- sickeningly cute Pachirisus; "Paaaachhhiiii!"

[**Translation:** "Let's all cuddle our cheeks for electricity!"]

"Nooooo!" Proto screamed.

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><p><strong>AN:** Awwe ^o^ I wanna be tackled by herds of Pachis D; But...then I'll get sick, and (._.) ..even SICKER IF YOU DON'T REVIEW! Dx


	2. Spell me: Pachi!

**A/N:** Gotta at least upload 3 chapters for this before hitting my pillow haven- well, I could use a hot cup o'joe right about now- I'm kidding! Dx I hate coffee!

**R E A D!~** x"3

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span> nu-uh!

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><p><strong>Spell me: Pachi!<strong>

"Now, spell the word: Apocalypse."**  
><strong>

The teacher ordered the two remaining Spelling Beedril contestants- them being Dr. Freud, **Lux-9**'s Noctowl, and Proto, **Lux-9**'s oh-so-intellectual Pachi.

You'd think the owner would be present in the contest, but she's away- _Probably getting high off of her stupid shrooms!_ Proto noted- squinting his eyes angrily at the easy word Dr. Freud got.

Dr. Freud let out a mocking chirp, before he spelled; "A-P-O-C-A-L-Y-P-S-E. Apocalypse."

The teacher smiled, putting the index card away; "That is correct."

Now they were at a tie- Dr. Freud and Proto.

The crowd of Pachis booed, while the crowd of Hoot Hoots and Noctowls chirped happily.

"Now..." the teacher started, then averted his head to where Proto sat, and puppy-eyed at the Pachirisu; "Now, cute Pachi, spell the word: Cat."

Proto's eyes twitched, and he fell back in his seat- _THEY STILL STEREOTYPE ME FOR BEING AS AIRHEADED AND STUPID AS THE REST OF MY OTHER COLONY PACHIS! WHAT IS THIS TREATMENT?_

His Pachi parents jumped in their seats; "Pachi Pachi! Risu risu!"

[**Translation:** "You can do it, honey! There'll be a treat of peanut butter and cherry berry sandwich for you!"]

His face flushed and he hid behind his podium.

Dr. Freud and his audience let out humorous- eerie sounding(and loud) chirps- which he presumed were their supposed laughter.

_Great..._

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><p><strong>AN:** Yes, I do as a matter of fact have a SHINY(Legit!) Noctowl which I named Dr. Freud- I was prolly high off of shrooms -.- ~ Gotta tap Mario for that- no, NEVER.

You didn't hear me say that, kay? O:

Just **R E V I E W !~**


	3. What the Pachi?

**A/N:** Here I am again- What the Pachi? Its 6 in the goddam morning! Dx

**R E A D !~**

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span> Nintendo man's your man!

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><p><strong>What the Pachi?<strong>

"What the Pachi are you talking about?" Proto looked from his Pokepedia: Scholar's Edition book to the soaked Pachirisu- whom stood by his leather couch with a panicked expression.

"Pachi! Pachi pachi!" It jumped.

"So, wait... Let me get this straight: Your _pet_ Meowth got _stuck_ in a tree, and you _can't_ figure out a way to _climb_ that tree to save your _poor kitten_?"

The Pachirisu nodded enthusiastically- jumping in the process; "Pachi pachi!"

Proto let out an irked sigh and settled his book and pipe by the coffee table. He tilted his glasses; "What the pachi?...WHAT THE PACHI? First of all, how can YOU, a Pachirisu, own a PET MEOWTH? Meowths feed on Pachirisus, you IDIOT! And second of all, YOU'RE A PACHIRISU! HOW CAN YOU NOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO CLIMB TREES? Its like... YOUR SPECIALTY!"

The soaked Pachirisu tilted its head to the side; "Pachi?"

Proto's parted his mouth; "What do you mean _"Your point being?"_ Just...Get out of my house, before I discharge all over the house." He shook his head and put a hand out- regaining his cool.

The soaked Pachi blinked, then raised its chin; "Pachi!"

[**Translation: **"Jerk!"]

It exclaimed snobbishly before ruffling its pretty tail and setting out of Proto's studious-like house.

Proto sighed and rubbed his "temples"

Muttering; _"One of these Pachi days..."_

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><p><strong>AN:** What the Pachi hell are you staring at? D:

**R E V I E W !** Dx


	4. Pachirifico!

**A/N:** Oi oi oiii!~ ^o^ Thanks for the reviews, dearies!

Now, just pachi enjoy this chapter, now, will you?

**R E A D !~**

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span> Meh...I own pretty awesome stuff too, you know? Dx

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><p><strong>Pachirifico!~<strong>

"Pachi...pachi risu?" A Pachirisu whispered to the other Pachirisu behind a tree.

[**Translation:** "What are those called again?"]

"Pachi..risu.."

[**Translation:** "I forgot..."]

It let out a frown.

The pair of Pachirisus kept a close look at their Professor, whom seemed to be opening up to some type of...triangular-shaped pastry, or...it didn't smell like any pastry they've smelled, so what was it?

The pair of Pachirisus were soon joined by a Noctowl in glasses, with two Hoot hoots by its side.

They let out a cry; "Pachiii pachi pachi risu!"

[**Translation:** "They're gonna eat us!"]

The other Pachirisu jumped agreeably.

Dr. Freud gave the pair of air-headed Pachis an unphazed look; ". . ."

A Hoot-Hoot chirped a; "Hoot hoot hoo!" to the Noctowl.

[**Translation:** "Do you think the Pachis' terrible body odor is what is keeping us awake all night?"]

The other Hoot-Hoot nodded its head, letting out a; "Hoot-Hoot."

[**Translation:** "Scientifically speaking, my Hoot-Hoot senses say yes."]

Dr. Freud glared at the Hoot-Hoots, and they yelped; "You bafoons! Here I thought the Pachis are air-headed! First of all, Hoot-Hoots and Noctowls do not sleep at night, and..."

The Noctowl wafted a scent from the Pachis, whom just stared at him confusingly.

"They do not smell as bad that we were drawn to the scent."

"Hoot hoot hoooo!" A Hoot Hoot jumped.

[**Translation:** "So what do you think drew us here?"]

Dr. Freud shook his head, then pointed his head at the snack; "I believe its called a "Samboosa" - an Arabic type of snack... it can-"

**"ITS PACHIRIFIC!"** Proto jumped upon stuffing a samboosa in its mouth- chewing and munching.

The Noctowl, Hoot-Hoots ana Pachis, sweat-dropped.

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><p><strong>AN:** Lawl XD Proto seems to like samboosas! I remember the last time I ate a samboosa... Lol. Anyway, it seems that Pachis are not the only ones with a pee-sized brain XD But the Hoot-Hoots just seem to have better..."grammer" lol x"3

**R E V I E W !~** ^o^


	5. FantaSEEDot

**A/N: **Mai mai.. Its been such a while since I updated Proto's story.. OHWELL.

This chapter.. YOU WILL LOVE IT.

I know you will, because I know how much of a nut-crack you are about Pachirisus.

I mean, why else would you BE HERE? Dx

**R E A D !~**

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><p><span>Disclaimer:<span> If I owned a herd of Pachis, I would prolly sneeze... u_u

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><p><strong>FantaSEEDot.<strong>

The fluffy little squirrel of white and baby blue would have enjoyed his sleep and continued on his dream of how he theorized Professor Oak to have sickened with Alzheimer's, which earned him a noble prize.

I mean, the old son of a Pachi doesn't even remember his own grandchild's name! And he cannot decipher between a male and female in those...moments of his.

How he is labeled as the "World's Pokemon Professor" is clearly beyond the intelligent Pachirisu...

Anyway, that was all that, but hey- Can't a Pachi dream?

And moreover,...

Proto let out a low aggravated sigh, and put on his wonderful glasses- Oh, they were so wonderful... Those glasses. They made him stand out between the rest of his air headed brethrens.

He jumped off his basket of a comfy bed, and skipped all the way to the front door of his tree house.

He flipped it open; "Can't a mother Pachi Pachirisu get some sleep around here? WHAT'S GOING ON?"

He furiously eyed the herd of Pachirisus, whom all straightened up as the smarter Pachi yelled.

They were standing outside of his house- all of whom were seemingly arguing about something.

"Pachi..." Chooed a younger Pachirisu- whom bowed its head in shame. [Translation: Sorry...]

Proto arched an eyebrow, and moved a stubby hand to his head- placing it on its head and neatening up any wild fur.

"Well, don't leave me hanging. I have sleep to catch up to!"

A Pachirisu blinked, then titled its head to the side; "Pachi chi.. Pachi?" [Translation: You're going to...catch your sleep?"

Proto stood silent for a moment, and blinked in disbelief.

That's when another Pachirisu piped in- giggling afterwords; "Pachi pachi PACHI!" [Translation: Oh! I think you can do that with those dream catchers!"

Proto slapped his forehead- HARD.

ANOTHER Pachirisu piped in, tilting its head to the side; "Pachi..chi?" [Translation: What's a dream catcher?"

THEN, OTHER Pachirisus joined in to the discussion, and Proto was starting to grow a migraine.

"SHUUUUDDDUUUPPP! For the love of Pachi! YOU CAN'T CAPTURE 'SLEEP' IN DREAM CATCHERS, AND YOU CAN'T CAPTURE THEM IN POKE BALLS, EITHER, YOU ILL-MINDED FURBALLS!"

The Pachirisus silenced, and dropped their heads; "Pachi..."

They tried giving Proto "puppy eyes" but, well, it obviously doesn't work that way.

Pachirisu cannot bribe other Pachirsus with puppy eyes- Again: It simply does not work that way.

If you're equally cute and fluffy, you will understand...

Proto slapped its stubby paws together- as if trying to capture their attentions; "How do you Pachis think, anyway?"

He poked his head; "Think with your HEAD, not YOUR TAILS! My Arceus... How on earth was I-"

*click*

The Pachirisus, including Proto, all stopped as something, or rather, someSEED, fell right into their circle of quarrels.

"SeeEEeEee..." The nut-shaped Pokemon struggled to stand on its feet, as it landed on its head, and its stubby feet were running through the air.

"SeeeEee! Dot... See seee!" [Translation: Can't move...Can't move...DOOMED!]

A Pachirisu poked it with its paw- causing it to do a head spin.

They all(excluding Proto) giggled to themselves, and continued abusing the poor Pokemon.

When, really, its obvious what went on in those mischievous heads of theirs(or rather, tails).

All those Pachis fantasized that Seedot in their bellies.

Yep,

Pachirisus are sadly hungry for Seedots.

As they were all ready to tackle the poor Pokemon, Proto stood defensively over it and put a stubby hand out; "Stop!"

They all tilted their heads in unison; "Pachi?"

"Bullying a small Pokemon because of its size,_...and taste_,.. YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!"

The Pachirisus pouted and muttered low Pachis under their tiny breaths.

Proto nodded and turned around-he hid a grin.

His great grand mother, Pachilina, had taught his family of Pachirisus a recipe of SeeDot pie, which is...SO amazing.

Of course, Proto had to keep this to himself.

He turned around- picking the Seedot above his hands; "This little Seedot is going to one day become a tree!"

The Pachirisus tilted their heads; "Pachi pachi?" [Translation: A tree?]

Proto nodded and turned to go back inside the comfort of his home- the frantic Seedot in his hands.

"Honestly, I would go atone for my crimes if I were you... Go on, scurry away from my broken sanctuary."

Minutes after Proto had closed the door to his house,

The Pachirisus all jumped as the door was slammed open, and a Nuzleaf jumped out.

They all shrieked and panicked and hid away~~

The Nuzleaf flexed its new formed arms; "Nuzleaf! Leaf!" [Translation: I'm going to be a tree!]

After the Nuzleaf left, the Pachirisus carefully went to check up on Proto, whom was laying flat on his head with his glasses broken up besides him.

"Pachi pachi PACHIIII!" [Translation: Oh no! Let's snuggle our cheeks against the Professor's so we can grant him powerrssss!" Piped a Pachirisu- jumping.

The others nodded and jumped enthusiastically.

Proto groaned.

"Don't...touch...me..."

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><p><strong>AN:** This chappie's long... comparing it to the others...

**R E V I E W !~**


End file.
